cry and cry like blood flowing

i cried madly ytdy night
yes really mad until 7am i finally fall asleep
i wake up this noon and i continued crying
i cried when i bath
my face was fucking swollen
i tear at the bus stop
i tear in the bus
i went down and i tear at the counter
i went to his house and started crying and crying for 2hours
until i really cant take it and i asked my sis to come out earlier and accompany me
i cannot stop crying so i skip work as my head was fucking pain and eyes were damn swollen and blur. my heart was very pain .
i tear again while i wait for time up to go home.

i such a powerful crybaby.
later when i sleep i think will be another round of crying

asked yiting to accompany me end up she bring his boyfriend and i have to see them lovely dovely .

despite all the things, i still went to buy something.

i think the banquet pple sure will kill us man, didnt pick up their call at all.
i dont care already le.





frankly speaking,

yiting
有时我不想做姐姐了
i really really really very tired
its hurting sometimes you know?


every time i down there i have to face the scolding by mum
but it motivate me ever more


those sarcasm, teasing, reject
no matter friends or who


i really damn stress of what i doing now.
i keep on telling myself not to give up
i have to chiong all the way


i thought i can pour everything out to bf when i meet him
end up
im wrong
im wrong
im wrong

instead i have to push everything back





these two years i trying to be better
from a gf who was once a fucking attitude with lots of temper, demand demand and more demand, want to meet bf everyday

to now who learn not to attitude, not to have temper
dont ask for anything
not to stick with bf


but end up
it still the same
the same


i already dont know what to do already.


i still a human after all, and im a girl
i also want love, care and concern
i also have attitude
i not perfect
everyone is not perfect

why you cannot accept my imperfect

why when i attitude, you cannot pamper me?
cannot give in a bit ?

instead what i received was more hurt

did you think in the first place why i was so angry about it?




bastard

but i think im a failure
when i already do my best in r/s
maybe i still not doing good enough



i such a failure
im a failure
im just a shit





you make me learn something ytdy night
i will keep back

but i still will love you.