fuck this world

do you have the need to pull and beat me just because we wanna go out on friday night? fucking disappointed. sigh look like this cold war with mummy will be a long long one. fucking hate this world, why everyday there will be something for me to be disappointed and lose hope in it? i don't fucking understand why human have to live in this world, facing those shitty problems and have to die in the end? why can't this world be more beautiful?

fuck fuck fuck _l_

i just hope one day when i reach home i can just smile because of what happen, instead of feeling upset and disappointed of what i have go through in the day.

i need a getaway, i need to breath.

i miss china, my mother hometown, i miss the carefree life for one month, i miss the village, i miss laughing at cow, i miss staring at the duck & chicken, i miss disturbing the goats, i miss scaring the pigs, i miss playing with the puppy, i miss looking for the cat, i miss the harvesting of wheat, i miss sitting beside the well and enjoy the wind, i miss squatting down for hours and pluck out the feather/hair of the duck, i miss going down to the river and do stuns, i miss taking motobike, i miss the food, i miss going up to the rooftop at night to enjoy the stars, i miss playing badminton for hours daily, i miss shopping, i miss the firework, i miss sitting at the kitchen and looking at the adult cooking, i miss everything and everything where i can escape for the reality.

oh well, fucking hate the reality.

anyway, on friday me and sis work until 6pm and with jj, we cab down to ECP for steamboat! derick's treat and we rushing for food as we had to go off in one hour time, the choices was kinda limited but the meat was best (Y) damn yummy, and there were free flow of icecream. but i was coughing quite badly so i cannot each much): cab back home, fucking pissed off whatever i dont wanna mention anymore. cab down to vivo city and we met shuhui, amos and jason.

amos gonna fly off to HK for internship for three months and this was kind of a farewell party for him. but not much people turned up. we went powerhouse and opened two bottles of vodka. Alan came after that, and that night was fucking fun man! :D amos and jj were fucking drunk man! HAHA AMOS TAKE CARE KK SEE YOU IN THREE MONTHS TIMES HOPE YOU HAVE FUN THAT NIGHT HAHAA.

was fucking scared when we reached home and aiya nah. went work on sat and i almost died. fucking tired and i ended work at 10pm+, went to balestier with my bosses and colleague for bak ku teh and this is my freaking first time eating it, and it tasted exactly as the soup that my mother always cook. but that bowl with pig organs in it tasted like blood soup, damn disgusting ttm, home at 12am+.

cried like fuck when i reached home because i saw something damn disappointing. sigh luckily huang yiting came home early if not i gonna cry myself to sleep. sigh, fucking hate this man i hate my parents ignoring me.

and i went work today and go without make up at all for this two days, and AGAIN i felt damn disappointed at work sigh why i have to feel disappointed everyday fuck fuck fuck. i think the only thing that make me smile was to see those cute face of the babies.

why people in this world can't be more understanding, fucking tired with everything.

i losing more and more hopes each day, i giving up more and more things each day.

kbye gonna meet shuhui with sis at starbuck tmr and do my documentation kkk gonna sup on caramel frapp tmr yum nightszxszsxzs.